Laughing With
by katsmor
Summary: She stared out the window in the tower, watching the wind as it blew the snow in mystifying patterns. Their beauty and grace as they fell was mystifying. But then, each one, every single one, hits the ground. Their simply, gone.


_Disclaimer_: I own nothing unfortunately.

I realize this is short, but it's been sitting on my computer for so long, I just don't know what else I could do to it. Hope you enjoy it. The song it is inspired by is called "Laughing With" by Regina Specktor.

**Laughing With:**

_No one laughs at God in a hospital  
No one laughs at God in a war  
No one's laughing at God  
When they're starving or freezing or so very poor_

She stared out the window in the tower, watching the wind as it blew the snow in mystifying patterns. Their beauty and grace as they fell was mystifying. But then, each one, every single one, hits the ground. Their simply, gone.

It's ironic isn't. That no matter how they manage to defy expectations, no matter how much joy they bring, or how many smiles they bring to people's faces they still manage to simply disappear. Forgotten.

A bitter laugh bubbled out of her. How sad that the 'brightest witch of her age' ended up just like those thousands of snowflakes, forgotten. She worked so hard, saved so many, fought so hard, and in the end it didn't matter. They still lost. She defied all expectations, all limitations, and in the end, it all failed her. She knew it was only a matter of time before she disappeared for good.

He stood in the shadows, hidden from the world, simply an observer to the complexities that surrounded him. And yet he, a man whose whole life had become a fight for something right even if none that he served deserved it, looked at the only person who he believed deserved the freedom each side fought for and realized that because of that she would never have it.

For years he'd tormented her, mocked her, if simply to keep her (and the others that watched his every move) from seeing how impressed he was. She broke every mold, stood up against everyone that told her she couldn't do it. She who fought for every living (and sometimes nonliving) creature regardless of who or what they were, regardless of the mistakes they made in their lives, regardless of the faults of their family. She who never proclaimed belonging to the side of the light simply that she fought for what she _believed_ was right for her. No one on the "good" side every noticed, but every dark creature she'd every come across did, him especially. And yet, because she could be accepted by either side (maybe not the leaders, but always those mistreated, misunderstood and taken advantage of), she would be safe with neither. She may have helped thousands, created hope for a better life in the oppressed of their society, but she still would never get what she deserved. Never get the life she dreamed of. All because, in the end, she stood on no side, and both sides. It didn't matter who won the battle, she would simply be hunted a killed by people who didn't understand her. It wasn't fair. The same bitter laugh that had caught his attention before came bursting out again, however this time it wasn't from her.

She didn't jump, didn't even react other than simply turn her head.

"Hello Severus. I thought I felt someone watching me. It is always you isn't it? It has been a long time."

She never smiled anymore. It broke something inside of him when he realized that this was the first time he'd heard her speak without that smile. Even in times of anger, it was always there, lingering in the lines on her face. Since her graduation, she would come to help him work, or to just escape the constant tension with the people she considered friends. And every time, regardless of how moody he was when she came, she'd simply smile at him, and the rest would simply fade. It never lasted. As soon as someone else would appear it'd all come back. All the bitter resentment and hate he held inside. But her smile remained. Staring in her eyes he realized it wasn't just her smile that was missing, just as it wasn't just her smile that he'd come to rely on. It was her spirit.

"Yes it has. Since the battle, unfortunately. I am afraid that I had to spend some time ensuring that my work for the winning side was remembered. Why are you here? Why haven't your run yet? You know they will take you in Bulgaria, or even in the Americas. Staying here, it means your death. You know that."

Even as he asked, he knew that no matter what was said she was not going to listen. She was not going to run.

"Oh I know. Victor has already tried contacting me from Bulgaria and Neville made it to America already. I am surprised though that you of all people would ask me why I do not run? Do you not already know?" Standing there, he found himself being unable to say anything. But as always, she knew. Even now, when all her hope was lost, she could see what others had never even known existed. "I am happy that you are safe. I hope you don't feel guilty over ensuring your safety. You have done everything you can, and I am sure even now you are helping those who need it. As for me, I am done. Even if I wasn't tired of it all, they know I am here. It doesn't matter though. I have done what I could, and in return lost everything I couldn't. You needn't worry though. I have taken one of your poisons; I felt that would help your position more. Please be careful Severus. "

It was the first time she ever spoke his first name. How ironic that it would be the last thing she ever said. She turned her head slowly and looked out over the courtyard to the dark shadows just now becoming visible over the fierce freedom of the forbidden forest. The momentary beauty in the sight of her pale form the only light amongst the backdrop of darkness captivated him and by the time he could break her spell it was too late. She looked at him one last time as she fell out the window plummeting to the ground below. He could have stopped. Years later when the world righted itself again, he would be questioned about his choice not to save her. He always spoke of it being too late, that she would have died painful regardless. She had taken what he'd later found out was a deadly and incurable poison. But no one saw, no one guessed as she would have that he was lying. It was not the imminent death she faced, or even the fact that he knew she was broken. It was the fact that in that one moment, that one breath before she fell, he saw it one last time. Not a full smile, for that was lost when her soul shattered under the slow pressure her deeds in the war had supplied, but in that one moment the lines in her face showed peace. Acceptance. Freedom. He would have risked given up magic sooner then taken that from her.


End file.
